CHANGE.

so this has been on my mind for a while. i know when people read my blog they think i talk about love too much, but i have to say, its on my mind. and i have a confession. i've never said i love you to someone. i say it to my mom and friends, but its not the same. after four years in high school, i'm tired of being single. i've said it. but i'm too picky to actually fall for someone. i think i fall but it turns out to be just a stumble, and i continue walking.

vieng says i need to be patient. gosh i've heard this for a while now. i wish there was just a time when a normal guy would like me and tell me. not these weird kids at my school who watch me everyday. my friends find it funny, but after a while it gets annoying and i just can't take it anymore! creepers need to get away from me! please don't talk to me, you know i don't feel the same way so why do you put both of us through that?! well it seems as though i will be single for a while longer, atleast till i get into college. i'm tired of these boys. i want someone to hold, and tell these creepers, who make me feel like the worse person in th world, that she's mine and you need to back off. I need a change.

a change of scenery, a change in the people i hang out with. i love my friends, but they don't help the way i feel. well except vieng and brenda. vieng always makes me feel better(like today for example when i was about to scream at a certain girl). and brenda, well she's brenda. i feel like if i get away and make a change that love will find its way in. i need to stop settling. i need to stop being easy for him. i need to stop beating myself up when i see my friends happy, and i feel like i'm not. i don't need to put on a face for no one. if i'm sad, i will be sad. if i'm pissed, i will be pissed. and if i'm happy i'm not going to change that feeling for anyone. i just feel like there is something missing in my life, and i can't pin point it. i blame it on valentine's day.

this blog is so random, i had a purpose but it kind of changed. -shrugs- oh well.